What Did I Do With My Magic Wand?

Gary S Bernstein

The more a client screws up, the more they expect the unattainable. Someone came in to see me, and I am so sure I will not get a call back, I can write generally about the case. The facts are awful. Nobody died or was injured, but that was just an accident of timing and fate. The client has prior offenses but wants to believe they will not show up on a record. The priors did not come up on the internet record that the client downloaded. I called a lawyer from the home state, a real lawyer, in fact, the lawyer the client uses in the home state and that lawyer said when we get or the State gets the official record, “Unfortunately- they will.” If you knew how much this lawyer was paid you would swoon- and he is worth every penny of it in a trial. He won the last case because the police officer FTA’d. The never to be client wants exactly the same result. Why not? Is there anybody reading this who does not want that result in their case? A slight problem, we don’t know that the police officer is going to fail to show up. I know the officer and the attendance record is pretty good. Will the case have a trial date set or be postponed without good cause so that the defendant is denied a speedy trial? And to top it off, I am to insure that this whole mess is to remain a secret from the family. Now I am pretty good at lawyering. Magic, not so much. Any slight of hand in the courtroom is different than David Copperfield magic. By now the never to be client has probably found a lawyer who claims to have a magic wand. I told the client there will be a lawyer who will promise what the client wants. I plan to keep tabs on the case, because if the case does disappear for a reason other than those above or an acquittal, I’m going to burgle the lawyer’s office and steal the wand. Then I’m going to start charging what the out-of-state lawyer charges, because a magic wand is worth any price.